


Difficulty to Concentrate

by nsfwfrerardx



Category: MCR - Fandom, My Chemical Romance, frerard - Fandom
Genre: Best Friends, FWB, Fluff, High School, Love, M/M, Pining, Really fluffy, Sexual Tension, Smut Mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-24 11:45:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6152650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nsfwfrerardx/pseuds/nsfwfrerardx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically, Frank is over-sexed and it's only fucking with his emotions. Being in love with the guy he's casually fucking (while being his best friend) is horrible. So, Frank has a plan, one that'll suck dick (but not really).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Difficulty to Concentrate

**Author's Note:**

> This is an idea that's been in my head for so long and the only way I can get it out is to write it. So, this is that. Have fun! Also don't be thrown off by the no sex or beginning of this in general it's SUPER love filled and will warm ur heart.

Frank is 90% sure he's insane. If not insane, then completely idiotic. It's been five months of sex and happiness and he's about to let it all go for a week. Well, not all of it, he'll still have Gerard, just minus all the physical loveliness of their relationship. Which is, by the way, hard to explain. Because they aren't a couple, but they fuck and go on dates. They are friends, best friends, but they're so much closer than that. Frank can't say they're “friends with benefits” either, because friends who just causally have sex don't hold hands in public or share small kisses at bus stops. They're more, as close as a couple in love yet in so much denial it's almost sad. So Frank needs to figure things out, he needs to know what it is they have exactly. And for some reason this means holding out for a week, both physically and emotionally.

“Do you want Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Apple Jacks? I think imma go with Apple Jacks.” Gerard is rummaging through the cabinets, school starts in ten minutes but it's just down the street.

“I'll have the Jacks too,” Frank’s sitting on the kitchen counter, nervous as hell and praying he's not making a mistake. He’s being fidgety too, adjusting his shirt constantly playing with his hair. Gerard notices too, because he has that concerned look in his eyes.

“Nervous about the bio test?” He puts the milk down, not having poured it into the bowls yet and goes over to Frank. They have this huge ass cumulative test third block, well, Frank does, Gerard has his test tomorrow, the asshole. Gerard’s leaning against the counter, in between Frank’s legs and rubbing the other's side. It's stuff like this that makes Frank concerned about this week, not having this, not having comfort. Not to say Gerard isn't comforting, because he's really the only person who does make Frank feel comfortable. It's just that, physical contacts is always nice, and it always helps.

“Nah, not really, we studied pretty good last night, I think,” He replies. They were up till the crack of ass reviewing, Gerard didn't even need to study because he's smart as hell but he made flashcards just for Frank.

Gerard smirks, “We did a lot of stuff pretty good last night.” He kisses Frank then, them both smiling and reminiscing on the exchanged blowjobs after five hours of non-stop review and sexual tension. It's unnecessary how Gerard just flipping pages in a book or running his hands through his hair while trying to memorize the makeup of a cell can be such a fucking turn-on. They were going to go straight to bed after the last flashcard set, but Frank was tense and Gerard just happened to notice. They were a few neck kisses in, with Frank saying that it's late and they should go to bed. But all Gerard had to do was look at him, in a way that made Frank feel so fucking wanted, and he had no control. Kind of like this kiss, he knows he shouldn't make things harder for himself, but this is Gerard. This is the guy he's always wanted, and yeah, he needs to step back a little because the pain is too much. But Frank has to ask himself, why not be happy with what he has? Why not just take what he can get?

When Gerard pulls away, he goes for another kiss but is stopped by Frank’s hand against his chest. He looks confused, they always kiss in the morning, usually for a while. It's like a pre-school thing,

“We need to talk,” Frank says, kind of quiet and hesitant.

Gerard freezes and tried to read the other’s face, find out what whether or not to be concerned. Yet, he draws a blank, because Frank is looking at his lap. “Should I be worried?” Gerard puts his other hand on Frank's side.

Frank chuckles to himself, “maybe just your dick should be.” Gerard has to wonder now if he needs to leave before something gets injured, but at the same time he hasn't done anything to deserve such cruelty. “I think we need to take… a break, sort of.”

“A break? From what?” Gerard's lowkey panicked because he know that when a guy he's been fucking tells him that he needs a break… it can't be good.

Frank removes Gerard’s hands from his sides, trying to make some space between them. “From this thing we have.”

Gerard looks hurt, even though he's unsure what Frank is talking about. “What do you mean? You need a break from ,like, hanging out? Hooking up? Or-”

“Yeah, yeah, that.” Frank's speaking in a quiet tone, it's hard enough to say it.

“Um, okay, yeah, whatever you need. Just, did I say or do something wrong? If I hurt you I need to know.” Gerard’s clearly upset, and is touching Frank again, a hand on his thigh.

“No, no. It's not that I don't wanna… do stuff with you,” Frank smiles, embarrassed. “It’s just that I feel like a lot of our relationship now is just sex and more sex. And, I just miss hanging out with you like we used to… Also, it's hard for me to keep things casual with how I feel about you. It's not just ‘hooking up’ to me.” He does the air quotes and everything. Frank is starting to tear up a little, mainly because he's an overly-emotional person, but either way the tears are coming. “Basically, I want you more than anything, Gerard.” Gerard smiles, and looks like he's about to say something but is stopped by Frank’s words again. “But, I don't want to keep fucking around if what we have is all physical.” Frank tugs on his own hair, trying to get his thoughts together. “ For christ’s sake I can never stop thinking about you touching me, kissing me. It used to be me fantasizing about you, about this, about us. And now that it's partially real I feel like it's all we are.”

Gerard looks like he wants to be somewhere else, “partially?”

Frank takes a deep breath, he doesn't want to tell his best friend how he spent a good couple years fantasizing about a committed relationship. “As in, we do all the things couples do, be we aren't… ya know, a couple. And we aren't exactly just friends either, you can see how I'm confused.”

“Okay, yeah, do you want that? To be a couple?” Gerard’s heart is racing, he wants it, he's always wanted it.

“Gee,” Frank smiles, cheeks warming up and stomach in knots. “That's all I want.” Gerard leans in to kiss Frank, but is stopped, again. “But, I need to connect to the emotional part of us. I need to know that you want me for me and not my ass. If we can go the week without having sex or touching each other or talking to each other the way let's say, we wouldn't with Ray, then we can be more. In order for us to work in a relationship, we have to work as friends too. It can't be all sex all the time, and that's what it has been for the past five months. I feel like our friendship has become second priority and getting off has become first.”

“I understand, if that’s what you need then I'll do that. Anything you need baby, anything you need... and Frankie, it's always been more than just hooking up to me, okay?” It actually hurts to just think of Frank as a hook up. He's Gerard's entire fucking world, not something he just wants to fuck every now and then.

Frank looks happy to hear that too, given the little smile trying to come through. “Okay,” he wipes away one of the tears that ended up falling. “ So you think you can handle not getting any of my sweet ass for a whole week?” Frank tries to lighten the tension in the room, wants to leave this off on a good note.

“Totally, but if it helps your ego, you should know I'll be jackin’ off to the thought of your sweet ass every night.”

“Okay but just don't tell me about it,” and now Frank wants to be fucked again, he wants Gerard to take him right on the counter. This is why he needs a break, it’s kind of exhausting having sex all the time. And if Frank wasn't holding out, he would be telling Gerard to fuck him on the counter and he would and then they'd be late for school. That may be good for their dicks but it's not good for Frank's emotions or education.

“Sounds good, now, we gotta rush breakfast if we wanna make it to school… but there's still time for something else,” Gerard caresses Frank’s cheek.

“Gee, I literally just said we need to sto-”

“I just wanna kiss you, one last time, alright? Before I have to go a week without it.” Gerard pouts, but makes sense, Frank wants that too. So he nods, and lets Gerard pull him in, connecting their lips and making Frank weak in the knees. He tries to savor this one, make it last and hope it holds him off for a week. Gerard holds Frank's cheek and side, sucking on the other’s lip. He's not excited to go a week without being with the guy he loves. But he understands it, they have been mostly physical in their friendship, and it'll be good to connect back to the friend aspect of it.

Frank oddly doesn't feel turned on anymore, he's more upset than anything. Kissing Gerard is making him feel what he'll miss. This is probably the slowest they've ever kissed, usually it's so heated and fast. But this, it's calm, it's comforting, it's like kissing the person you love for the first time. Which is funny, because Frank already has, yet this moment feels more like kissing Gerard than it does when they're making out in a storage room at school. Kisses like the one he's having right now, are the kind he's been wanting.

When Gerard pulls away, he has his forehead leaning against Frank's and his hands on the other's thighs. He takes a breath, about to say something, when Frank pulls him back in with a hand behind Gerard’s neck. Frank’s fucked to hell, if he's addicted to anything it's Gerard. And this kiss right now, this makeout session, is ruining his mindset for the next week. He doesn't think Gerard’s ever been so passionate, which is weird because they're in the middle of the kitchen missing breakfast and potentially late for school. With every little lip bite and squeeze of Gerard’s hand, Frank is forgetting all the reasons he wants to do this in the first place.

“Fucking christ on the cracker get a room,” Gerard breaks away from Frank in surprise to find Mikey walking towards the fridge with a disgusted look.

Gerard smirks down at Frank, amazed at just how beautiful Frank is when he smiles. Gerard doesn't want to stop looking at him, doesn't want to stop kissing him, doesn't want to move. So they kiss one last time, doesn't last long though because Mikey starts groaning and going on about how they're late to school. And Gerard has to stop himself from holding Frank's hand on the way there.

The first day isn't too bad, it's weird and annoying to have to constantly stop themselves from touching or kissing or saying something that is more couple like than friend like. But it's not hard to talk, they go back to Gerard’s place after school and just talk and do homework. Usually they would fuck and do homework, but Gerard is finding himself enjoying listening to all the things Frank's been thinking about lately. He usually does know what's going in in Frank's life, Frank always comes to him with everything. But this is different, they're laying on Gerard's bed (not cuddled) and talking about their aspirations and futures.

“We could get our own apartment at some point, that'd be nice,” Frank mentions, looking over at Gerard all smiles and hope. His hair all messed up and crumbs on his shirt from earlier. Gerard never thought that it'd be hard to make a grilled cheese without holding onto the person next to him.

“Yeah, two bedrooms, one will be an office,” Gerard responds, grinning at the insinuation.

“Gee, we can't talk a-”

“Hey, you started it,” Gerard defends himself.

“Oh, are we nine now?” Frank rolls his eyes, but he's smiling inside.

“No… but I’d like to come home to you everyday,” Gerard’s fucking it up, he knows that, but he can't help it. Looking at Frank, how right it feels that they're in the same bed together, it feels like home.

“Ger-”

“I can't imagine ever waking up next to anyone else,” Gerard won't stop and Frank doesn't want him to but he has to. The reason he can't say stuff like this is because it just makes Frank want to suck his dick, which is a situation Frank is trying to avoid.

“You nee-”

“I know, I know… I'm sorry I just, really like thinking about never having to let you go.” Gerard’s honest mouth is going to be the reason this week won't work. Frank wants to kiss him, Gerard never talks like this. He's barely ever this sweet, not to say he isn't amazing to Frank, because he is. But, Gerard liked to beat around the bush with how he's feeling and thinking. So, this right here, him being so straight forward, makes Frank's heart do things.

“Why is the one time you talk about our future all cute-like is when I can’t kiss you?” It's not fucking fair, at all.

Gerard looks confused though, “do I usually not talk about it?” He could of sworn he was telling Frank about wanting to go to college near Jersey to stay by him, but maybe that was in his head.

“No, haha, you don't really talk about us at all in general,” Frank sighs, but it's fine they were never official.

“Oh…,” Gerard's kind of hurt, not hurt by Frank but hurt that he's dumb enough that he hasn’t been telling Frank how much he loves him. He has Frank for fuck’s sake, this God damn national treasure of a human. Yet, Gerard isn't expressing how much he needs him on a daily basis ??? Doesn't add up, not at all.

“It's okay though, we never defined what we are so…” Frank doesn't want Gerard to feel bad for not talking about a relationship that didn't technically exist.

“It's not okay,” not okay at all, Gerard feels like someone needs to be telling Frank just how wonderful he is every second of the day. Maybe Gerard needs to be that someone. He grabs the other's hand and fits their fingers together.

“Hey, you ca-”

“Just forget about the rules for a second, okay? Just, time out.” Gerard scoots closer to Frank and puts himself over his friend, letting go of his hand and placing it on Frank's cheek.

“Gera-”

“Just a minute, okay? this is important.” He sees Frank accept defeat and nod his head. “I'm always thinking about us, I'm always thinking about you.” He sees Frank smile, that gorgeous fucking smile that's constantly in his head. “I'm sorry if I’ve made you think I don’t, I'm not very good at talking about my feelings or saying what a think.” He brushes his hand through Frank's hair, landing his fingertips on the other’s cheek. “But you're always on my mind,” he smiles, thinking about how he loses himself in a daydream of him and Frank in class everyday. “For fuck’s sake Frankie, I even fantasize about spending the rest of my life with you,” Frank’s eyes go big and his mouth opens like he's going to either protest or rejoice. “Shh, don't worry I'm not gonna propose anytime soon.” He chuckles and Frank's look of surprise turns into a smile and blush. “Just know that I want to take us seriously, I realize I need to be more open for that to work. Letting you slip away would be the biggest mistake of my life,” He literally cannot even imagine a future that doesn't involve his best friend. “I wanna be able to fall in love with you every day and not be worried about you finding out, or anyone else for that matter,” and that's sort of how he tells Frank he's in love with him. That's also when Frank's eyes well up a little. Frank's pretty sure his emotional ass has cried enough today what the hell.“I don't want to hide that anymore, you need to know that, because I cant stand you thinking that I don't want a life with you.” Frank's fucking gone, he's completely gone with Gerard. He needs to kiss his best friend aka love of his fucking life before he loses his shit.

“Kiss me,” is all he says, with tears starting to make their way down his cheek and onto Gerard's fingertips.

“But-”

“Kiss me Ge-”And he gets cut off by Gerard’s lips on his own, so much for that ‘last kiss.’

Frank doesn't care about that right now though, Gerard's kissing him, taking his breath away. It's intoxicating to him, the taste of Gerard’s lips and his hands against his skin. Frank doesn't know how he’s going to keep himself from staying the night. Frank was wrong, this right here is the most passionate Gerard's ever been. So much different than their first kiss, where they were slightly high and half naked in a public swimming pool at midnight. Their mouthes may have tastes like chlorine but their hearts were beating faster than they ever had before. Frank's legs wrapped around the other’s waist, relying on water to help Gerard hold him. At first it was just a peck on the lips, they were just moving around the pool together like that, spending too much time in each other's eyes. All it took was Frank's slight tug on Gerard's wet hair and they were having their first kiss. It started out simple and full of butterflies, but ended up complex and full of sexual tension. They made out in the pool that night, grinding against each other until they were caught by a security guard. That happened to be one of the best nights of Frank’s life.

“Stay tonight,” Gerard, the fucker, suggests when they take a small breather.

“That's not a good idea,” Frank responds, even though it's a very appealing idea. Gerard sighs, “and it's a school night,” Frank adds on.

Gerard chuckles though, “we've done a lot worse on a school night baby, I just want you to lay here with me.”

“You're the devil, Gerard Way,” Frank's able to get himself from under his friend and off the bed. “But I love you.”

Gerard tries not to pout and gets up on his knees. He's able to reach for Frank's torso, pulling the smaller one’s body towards him. He kisses Frank's cheek and says, “I love you too.”

Frank has to use every inch of will power he has not to stay the night.“Bye Gee, see you in the morning,” he breaks out of Gerard's grasp and runs up the stairs and out of the house before he changes his mind about leaving.

When he gets home, he paints a picture in his head of a cute house with all of his things mixed with Gerard’s. He imagines their messy bed, and them both in it, waking up and falling asleep together. It's a nice thought, one that comforts him since Gerard isn't there.

The next day is full of trying not to hold Gerard's hand or saying “I love you” or really anything else Frank wants to be doing. Instead they talk, a lot. Like the did yesterday, minus the love confessions and the future planning. Most conversations are constructed with sci-fi and filled with endless possibilities on how the universe was created. As a “devoted” Catholic, Frank should know the only possibility for that, but something about the world makes him think there's a lot more to it. If his religion is correct though, he’ll thank God every day for Gerard.

Conversing has never come hard to them, being best friends it'd be bad if it ever were. Every now and then though, Gerard will say something a little too friendly and it teases Frank's heart. With the universe on subject, of course the moon will come up. They were just discussing how the moon isn't even that terribly far away, when Frank starts to ponder a phrase.

“So you know that ‘love you to the moon and back’ phrase?” He glances to Gerard, who's already looking at him, gazing at him. They're laying on the floor of the living room side by side. Frank had suggested they stay somewhere open and where family can pass by and see them, so that neither of them will make a move.

“Yeah,” Gerard answers.

“Well, if the moon isn't even that far away, if it’s the closest planet to us, then why is it used as a measure of love?” Frank thinks he has a good point and Gerard looks like his whole life has been a lie. “Like, why not Pluto? Pluto is far as fuck away. Or what about the stars? Which are even further away. The moon is a cheap fucking shot if you ask me.” Now Frank is a tad fumed, because whoever came up with this must have not loved their significant other enough to reach further than the moon.

“Or another galaxy all together, the furthest galaxy that we know of is MACS0647-JD. It's 13.3 billion fucking light years away, can you even imagine that?” Gerard is looking at Frank with amazement, galaxies, man.

“Of course you’d know that, what the fuck the wacky ass name of a galaxy is and how far away it is.” Sometimes Frank just feels a tad dumb around Gerard. Gerard never and would never say or do anything on purpose to make him feel like that. And Frank knows he's better at a lot of things than Gerard is, and vise versa. But he has to wonder if Gerard took the time to memorize the galaxy name or if he just read it one day and that was that. If it's the latter, Frank is envious as fuck.

“I like space stuff you know this,” Gerard feels like he shouldn't even have to explain. He literally praises Star Wars.

“You're right, I do know this,” Frank does.

“Hey,” Gerard catches the other's attention, making Frank look at him. “I love you to MACS0647-JD and back,” he grins and tries not to touch Frank.

Frank feels warm, really warm. The way Gerard talks, and the way he looks when he’s gazing at Frank. His pupils big and his cheeks pink, it's half the reason Frank can’t stop looking at him right now. “I love you to MACS-something and back too.”

It's a good think Gerard's mom walked in then, because one of them was about to pounce on the other. But they settled with watching Say Yes To The Dress with Mrs. Way for a good part of the evening. Until of course, homework.

When they said good night after managing to do work without getting distracted by each other’s lips, it was hard to let go during the hug. Normal friends hug, so it wasn't a problem, but it's an issue when Frank can't seem to let go after a solid 15 seconds. He had his arms tight around Gerard's waist, burying his head into the other’s chest, trying to recreate how they sleep together. Gerard himself had a hard time letting go too, he put one hand on Frank's back and the other in his hair. He also may have let his face land on the top of Frank's head, smelling Frank's shampoo and reminding himself of their showers. It's a moment like this, that Gerard remembers how much he loves these little things about his best friend. His scent, his hugs, his voice. Frank all around is an intoxicating person, but Gerard's been so caught up in trying not to let his feelings show that he became blinded to half the things that made him fall for Frank in the first place. And in these moments, it's almost like Gerard is falling in love with him all over again.

Gerard doesn't know how he'll last the week, for fuck’s sake he couldn't even last a day without hopping on Frank. But at least school is piling up pretty intensely, so it should be easy to concentrate on something other than the guy he usually can't get out of his head.

It Turns out that an essay isn't enough to keep Gerard's mind occupied. The third day wasn't bad because Frank was busy with family all day and night so Gerard didn't have to worry about controlling himself. But the forth day, this day, is awful. Gerard barely talked to Frank at all yesterday, besides the beginning and end of school. Which would have been fine if he were able to do or say more than just “hi, how are you?” So, right now, it's almost midnight on Thursday and Gerard's pulling a mental blank on what the fuck to write for his English essay. All he can think about is how nice it'd be to be in bed with Frank. Not even sex but just holding him or looking at his stupid adorable face. This leads to the decision to call that stupid adorable face up, Frank doesn't usually sleep till at least 1 so it's okay.

“Hey, Gee, what'sup?” Frank answers after the second ring, sounding tired.

“Hey, Frankie, just trying to write this fucking essay, you sound tired.”

“Yeah, I haven’t been able to sleep to well the past few nights.” Frank yawns at the end of his sentence, only to emphasize his exhaustion.

“How-come? Everything okay at home?” Gerard knows that Frank's dad can be kind of a dick sometimes, and that a lot of nights at the Iero household are filled with yelling. Which is why Frank usually spends the night with Gerard on almost a weekly basis.

“Surprisingly yeah, mom has been focusing a lot on me which means less thinking about dad’s side hoe therefor less fighting.”

“Oh, well good, then what's keeping you up?”

“You,” Frank takes a breath, Gerard hears the crackling of it over the phone. “It's like, if I'm not with you I'm just going crazy thinking about you and it's ruining my sleep.”

Gerard shouldn’t feel happy about that, but knowing someone is thinking about you is always a positive. “Yeah, that's been my problem with this essay. I can't come up with a thought for it because you're taking up my headspace.”

“Is it healthy for us to not be able to function properly while apart?” Frank laughs, and Gerard misses that so much. It's only been two days since he last heard it but it's an easy thing to miss.

“Probably not, but I guess that just means in order to stay healthy we gotta be together,” Gerard comments and the line is silent for a few seconds that seem longer than they are.

“You talking like that is just making my life harder,” Frank's voice is soft, like he's whispering.

“I know, but I miss you, and I want you to be here right now.”

“I want that too, but if I came over you know what we'd end up doing.” Frank sighs, that's what they always end up doing.

“No, no, I’m not even in the mood,” Gerard hears the other laugh again, “I'm serious, God, Frankie, I just wanna fucking hold you for Christ’s sake.” The laughing stops with that. “Just because I like fucking you, doesn't mean that's all I want from you.” Gerard's heated, he hates that Frank sees him like some sex-crazed animal.

“No, I know that Gee,” Frank feels bad now, he doesn't mean to paint Gerard to be some kind of asshole.

“The best part of having sex with you isn't even coming up your ass,” he hears Frank let out an “oh my god” and laugh. “It's being able to lie there with you afterwards, all naked and sweaty.” Gerard lowers his voice, feels like it's more personal if he talks quieter. “Being able to hold you as closely as I can, not even clothes separating us. There's nothing more I love than that, getting to see your tired smile. Ya know it’s just,” he smiles to himself, “I'm the only one who's ever seen you like that, and that's so special to me. And I don’t know if that's weird but-”

“It's not,” Frank chimes in.

“But it's perfect. There's no better feeling than being with you, if I was ever cursed to like, I don't know, be in that after-sex stage with you for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t even be mad… I love connecting with you like that.”

“That's my favorite part too, Gee,” they stay quiet for a while after that. Just listening to each other's breathing. It's nice to know that the other is there. It's about five minutes until Gerard speaks up again.

“The first time we had sex,” he hears Frank sigh over the phone.

“God, I was so fucking awkward.”

“You were wonderful, amazing even,” Gerard corrects him. Frank was a tad awkward though, but so was Gerard. It was the first time for both of them and they weren't sure what they were doing. But Gerard had seen enough porn to know something, and Frank had fucked himself enough to know what to expect. The one thing neither of them intended to happen though, is how much deeper it would put them into their skinny love. “But, the first time, I was so in over my head Frankie.”

“How so?”

“I thought that we could be friends with benefits or something ya know? Like I knew I felt more for you than that, but I thought that maybe it was just my hormones making me feel so insane about you. Like, all I could thing about was your body. It's all I wanted, your lips, your hips, your ass, I wanted you so bad. The way you walked, drank, smoked… fucking dreamed of it.” Not to mention every other little thing Frank ever did. “So, I thought I just needed to get you out of my system, ya know? Thought I could be with you and then I wouldn't stay up all night thinking about you anymore.” He takes a deep breath, knowing that he sounds kind of like a douche bag. “But that did not work, not at all. We had sex and I just fell for you even more. The first time I saw you naked I wasn’t even thinking about how nice your ass is.” Frank tries to hold in a laugh. “I was thinking ‘oh fuck I never need to see anyone else like this if it's not him…’ In that moment I knew I could never find anyone more beautiful or anyone who matched me as well as you do. I’ve never felt so complete and totally fucked at the same time. Because I was scared that you just wanted to be fuck buddies and I'd end up being helplessly in love with you.” Gerard feels naked just laying this all out but Frank needs to hear it.

“I felt the same way though, always have, which is why I wanted this break from sex and stuff. I thought that's what you wanted, to be fuck buddies. And I can’t do that,” Frank feels like maybe they can end this week a little early.

“No, not what I wanted.. I just always felt it easier to fuck you than tell you that I’m in love with you.” Gerard feels so fucking stupid now.

“Yeah, no, I can see that. I was scared too, and I felt it easier to suck your dick than tell you what I wanted to. But, hey, it eventually worked out didn't it?”

“Yeah, it did.”

“And not to mention we got to have really good sex for five months straight as a result of hiding our emotions,” Frank attempts to make light of the situation but it's true, they did get to have a lot of good sex.

Gerard laughs, “hell yeah we did… by the way, Frankie…”

Frank waits but the pause goes for too long, “yeah? What is it?”

“I still think about you all night,” clearly. “I still want to touch and kiss every part of your body, all the time.” Frank’s laying in bed, with the phone to his ear and his eyes closed. He's letting Gerard's voice and words wrap around him like a warm fucking blanket. “You're everything I want and need, I'll never get over you, not ever.” Just to make that clear.

Frank’s heart aches, in a pleasing way though. “Good, don't ever get over me.” If Gerard woke up one day and decided he didn't need to feel Frank’s skin or see his smile, then Frank is twenty different kinds of fucked.

“It'd be impossible to.” It’d be impossible for both of them, because… whipped as hell.

“Do you think you can write that essay now?” Frank knows if Gerard doesn't do it now he never will.

“Do you think you can fall asleep now?”

“Yeah,” Frank yawns again, “I love you, Gee.”

“I love you too, Frankie,” Gerard replies and a few moments pass before one of them hangs up.

Gerard completes his essay after that, and Frank has an interesting dream of a colorful house and lots of dogs.

In the morning Gerard wakes up to the blessing of Friday, and the torture of Frank. Who knocks on the door later that morning, and Gerard has to remind himself to hold back. After last night’s conversation it'll be extra difficult to concentrate on anything but Frank. When he opens the door though, Frank is all smiles and beauty. But, Gerard barely has any time to take it in because Frank is grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him in for a kiss. Gerard doesn't hesitate for a second to pull him in and kiss back. He gets Frank inside and closes the door by shoving Frank against it, but it's not in a sexual kind of way. It's in a ‘don't ever fucking leave me’ kind of way. Trapping Frank there, kissing him, making sure he won't let go. It feels so good, the last time they kissed was Tuesday and Gerard was able to hold himself back a little then. But he's not now, and Frank doesn't want him to. Their kiss is so desperate, like they've never even done it before. Gerard has Frank's waist pulled against his own, and his tongue in the other's mouth and it's so fucking good. They can actually feel the love in this, the pure fucking love that has been hiding in both of them. They can feel how much it hurt having to constantly pretend they can handle casual hookups.

“Oh my God, this is just ridiculous guys. Gerard, you have a bedroom, and I know you guys use it. Thin fucking walls.” Mikey’s voice doesn't break the apart this time, they smiles against each other's mouthes and continue kissing until the very last second before they'll be late to school. They miss breakfast again, but Gerard gets to hold Frank's hand on the way to school. He gets to kiss him good bye before entering the brick hell. Better yet, he gets to tell Frank he loves him before they part ways.

After school they spend the rest of the day in bed, completely naked and cuddled together, kissing each other lightly on the lips. They haven't had sex since Sunday night, and neither of them are really in the mood for it at the moment.

“See, you don't have to fuck me to get me  
naked,” Frank smiles, kissing Gerard.

“Oh no, now that you've said that I don’t think you'll ever have to wear clothes again,” Gerard moves his hand down to squeeze Frank's butt and they both giggle. He has his head next to Gerard's, sharing a pillow. His leg draped over Gerard and his hand on the other's chest being held by Gerard's.

“So, we're together now, yeah? I just want to make sure,” Frank's not about to go through this whole thing again.

Gerard kisses him, barely even touching his lips. “We're together, we'll always be together.”

Frank grins and pulls him in for another kiss, letting Gerard roll on top of him. They make out for a good hour, falling in love over and over again with each lip bite.

When they wakeup, their lips are sore as hell and it hurts to smile. Frank is molded to Gerard still, and it's something he wants to feel every morning. It's the weekend too, which means they get to lay there together until they're too hungry. And when they do get too hungry, Gerard gets them both cereal and brings it down for a super lame breakfast in bed type thing. Afterwards they shower together and Frank can't stop smiling the whole time. They're like an actual couple, they are an actual couple. Gerard’s having heart palpitations due to the realization of this. And while he doesn't want to cheapen the meaning of the words, he keeps telling Frank he loves him over and over again. In the shower, he holds him from behind and whispers it in his ear till Frank has to wash his hair. Even after that, he keeps saying it, and he totally gets turned on by wet Frank but he doesn’t act on it. Frank offers to suck him off and it's actual hell turning that down. Gerard just wants to focus on Frank and his feelings and their relationship, sex can wait a little. But he does kiss Frank’s neck till there's hickies covering it despite his own sore lips.

Frank's glad he did the whole no sex thing, even if it didn't even last an entire week. Well, it did technically because they didn't have sex, but no kissing or cute-talk was apart of the deal too. But holding out made Gerard tell him how he was feeling, and about what he thinks of them as a whole. It brought them closer together to not be fucking constantly, ironically. But on Sunday they do have sex, morning sex, which is just that much better. And it's weird how different it feels. Frank knowing Gerard loves him more than practically anything is better than sex itself. So both of those together is just mind-exploding. Gerard fucks him so slow, so fucking gentle and nothing like he's ever done before. Usually it's dirty as hell and Frank can barely even talk during it because he's too busy moaning or Gerard has his hand over his mouth or he's just not allowed to. But this time, he can lay there and tell Gerard he loves him and that he needs him and wants him. The whole thing is filled with pure love and happiness, nothing else. Gerard never wants to fuck anyone else, there'd be no point to it when he has Frank. Frank is all he needs and wants and all he really has in the first place. Frank is the answer to all his problems and the cause of some of them, but in a good way. When they’re done and Frank has Gerard's come dripping out of him and his hands stuck gripping the sheets, they do what all couples do and tell each other how much they love the other. And Gerard decides to make a comment, “When I fuck you, know that I love you.”

After that they make it official by telling Gerard's parents they're together, who aren't even phased by it, by the way. Mikey rolls his eyes and pats Gerard on the back, telling him he’s happy that he finally grew some. Frank's parents stay in the blue though, they don't need added stress of their son’s gayness to fight about. But it's fine, because Frank has Gerard. And Gerard has Frank. There’s nothing more they need than that, nothing at all.

 


End file.
